I Feel My Savior's Love

Yesterday was a bit of  hard day for Malina. She is not wanting to eat much while on this new chemo drug which isn't helping helping her tummy. She threw up twice yesterday once in the middle of her chemo and then right after her chemo. The second time she had just finished half a small bag of cheetos and threw it up all over her and I! It was really gross. I felt so bad for her that I didn't even care that I had barfed cheetos all down my legs. She just wanted to snuggle after we got her all cleaned up. NO more throwing up the rest of the day but she didn't eat much either. The morning she ate a good breakfast but that was about it. I could tell throughout the day that her tummy wasn't feeling well but no throwing up. She is getting two medications to help with the nausea and there is a third we can give her if it gets really bad.
Even though she hasn't been feeling amazing, she is still acting pretty happy. In fact she didn't take a nap until 4:20 today!! And she would only nap if I was holding her, which I was totally ok with. I love getting all the snuggles in I can with her. 

I keep waiting for the day that she will wake up and all her hair will be gone. It will be a really hard day for me. Yes,  I know it will grow back and yes, I know she will be just as cute but seeing the physical affects chemo is going to have on her from feeling yucky to loosing her hair will be extra hard. My girls have pretty amazing hair. They have always had hair since the day they were born. Their hair is kind of a big deal to me. I mention the hair thing because hers has been shedding a lot today. It makes me sad and want to keep her close. 

You know how as parents we want to protect our children from all the bad and yuck in the world and maybe if we hold them extra tight nothing bad will happen? Well I keep hoping that the more I snuggle her, the more I keep her close and tight, that I  will be able to take all the hurt away. I'm so sad for her. I am so sad for our family. In these moments I am thankful for my Savior. I am thankful that He knows my heart. As I hug her tight I feel His arms around us, protecting us.

I have so many favorite primary songs but this is definitely near the top of that list.
I Feel My Savior's Love

1. I feel my Savior's love
In all the world around me.
His Spirit warms my soul
Through ev'rything I see.

2. I feel my Savior's love;
Its gentleness enfolds me,
And when I kneel to pray,
My heart is filled with peace.

3. I feel my Savior's love
And know that he will bless me.
I offer him my heart;
My shepherd he will be.

4. I'll share my Savior's love
By serving others freely.
In serving I am blessed.
In giving I receive.

Chorus: He knows I will follow him,
Give all my life to him.
I feel my Savior's love,
The love he freely gives me.