New Normal

We were told at the beginning of this journey that we would find a new normal. In a way I feel like we have. It seems like the only normal thing is constant change and uncertainty.

We were also told that Malina's treatment plan would be 9 months but to expect a year due to set backs along the way. Now that we are 6 months into chemo and still have 3.5 months to go, I am understanding why they told us this. It has taken Malina 13 weeks to go 8 weeks in her treatment plan. Her numbers (ANC, platelets, hemoglobin) have not been good enough to get chemo several times lately which pushes treatment out by a week or two each time. It can be frustrating but it is also ok.

Her body is having a hard time recovering from each chemo treatment. Her body is struggling. Her doctors reassure us all the time that this is normal to see at this point in her treatment plan. It doesn't make this any easier to see your 2 year old struggle with the bad effects chemo has on the body. I worry every day about the long term effects these medicines will have on my baby. I know she will be ok and I know that she is being watched over by a Heavenly Father who loves who more than I can imagine, but it is still hard as a parent.

I will say that despite all the bad effects chemo can have on the body Malina has truly thrived these last few weeks. I can't remember the last time we had her walker out. She is walking more and more on her own; with her braces. She wants to be down and all over the place. Also, when all this started back in March Malina was not talking very much at all. She now has a lot to say and is learning her shapes and colors. Malina is proving to us everyday that she is a strong girl and such a fighter.

Easier said than done

It is pretty evident that I am not good at keeping a blog anymore. I used to be really good at it and a lot of other things. I really wanted to keep this going and be diligent in keeping this blog up to date for Malina. It would give her something to look back on one day and be able to know what all has happened during this time in her life. I just haven't been good at it. It isn't my thing.

I have turned to facebook to keep updates going on Malina https://www.facebook.com/teammalina It just seemed like the easiest way for me to keep everyone informed. However, I do miss writing things down just for Malina. I need to be better at this and a lot of other things. I know I have had a lot going on but it doesn't mean I can't try.

Now I am not saying that I will be prefect at this but here's to trying harder to be better. All I can do is try to be better than I was yesterday.