I hate that every time we get to the clinic Malina starts to have anxiety over being there. She gets fussy and crabby and clingy and shy. I hate having to be the bad guy and take her all the time. I'm supposed to be mom and protect her from all the scary and hurtful things in the world. I know I could not have prevented her cancer, but she is terrified of going in all the time. She is terrified of stickers, always has been and she gets a huge sticker put on every time we go in. That is about the worst thing for her. Malina SCREAMS every time the nurses are accessing her port and de-accessing her. When I say SCREAM I mean it. She is loud, red, sweaty and just hysterical. I HATE IT! It absolutely breaks my heart every time we have to do this. And I know it is mostly because she just doesn't like to have people in her space and touching her.
As sad and as hard as this is, I know that Malina is getting the help and treatment that she is in need of. She has had amazing doctors and nurses through out this process so far. Our whole family has been treated wonderfully by all those involved in her care. I know that she will be ok and I know that she is getting the care that she needs. In a way I am glad that she is so young so hopefully she won't remember all of these traumatic experiences.
I also know that this experience will make our family stronger. I know that I have a strong girl who never ceases to amaze me!
No comments:
Post a Comment